Lesson 37 - Tourniquet

Definition of Tourniquet-

A device used to control bleeding, consisting of a constricting band applied tightly around a limb above the wound. It should only be used if the bleeding in life-threatening and can not be controlled by other means.

Psalm 69:29 - I am in pain and distress; may your salvation, O God, protect me.

2 Samuel 22:3 - My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior-- from violent men you save me.

Definition of SALVATION

1  a : deliverance from the power and effects of sin b : the agent or means that effects salvation c : Christian Science : the realization of the supremacy of infinite Mind over all bringing with it the destruction of the illusion of sin, sickness, and death

2 :  liberation from ignorance or illusion

3 a :  preservation from destruction or failure b : deliverance from danger or difficulty

 ----------------------------------------------------------

Many Christians today only use God as a tourniquet; they want Him to heal their wounds. In most cases they are in a life-threatening situation where they feel like they have nothing left; they use God as a last resort. When all else fails, believe, right? Wrong.

In the song "Tourniquet" by Evanescence (below), Amy Lee is calling back God as she was "lost for so long."  As I said in the previous post, even the hairs of your head have been counted. God does not stop loving you as a person, He just may not like how you are acting. He does not like when your relationship with Him crumbles.

When everything in life tells you that you have nothing left, God is there. God is/was there for me, He always will be. Many come to Him when they are in a "pickle" then run when they think they have it all figured out. I can remember the last time that I stepped into a church prior to 2009, I was around 8 or 9 years old. I thought that I could "study the Bible on my own and learn what I needed to." Well, I had no drive and no desire to read that long, long book called the Bible. I didn't want to open the pages as I thought I knew all the stories already from Bible school. I was very, very wrong. When I decided in 2009 to start attending church again, I found Paradox. Paradox was more than just a church to me, it was a learning environment, a place without judgment, a place where all were accepted. Nate, the pastor, brought aspect of the Bible to life that I had never dreamed of knowing. He began my thirst for knowledge; a friend of mine reignited a fire within me. During my time at Paradox, I participated for awhile, but then when others stopped going with me, I felt that I couldn't go either. This was the worst mistake of my life. I let others decide my life without them trying to. I wavered in my faith a lot. It wasn't until my friend reignited that fire within me that really got back into my faith. That friend showed me that I still had not cracked open the Bible for myself. I still wasn't strong in my faith. After Paradox closed as Nate moved to Texas, I began attending Apex. Apex is a great church that resembles Paradox. I started this blog, and I did what I said I would do at the age of 9, 11 years ago. I am finally opening the Bible, reading it for myself, and learning.

God, after 11 year, did not forget about me. He brought me closer to Him as He showed me what life without Him was like. Did I pray during those 11 years, yeah. Was it sincere, not as I know it to be now. I wavered in my faith for 11 years. I remained content in my comfortable life of depression and hatred. God was my tourniquet. I still feel the pain that life throws at me, God never promised the pain would go away here on earth, but He makes it bearable. Through a tourniquet, a person will still endure the pain, the agony, the hurt. However, the tourniquet keeps you alive as the life line that is your blood remains. God is that tourniquet when others waver, He will always be there when  you realize you wavered, fell to the way side, or stopped believing. He will not deny those who turn to Him. They only way to be denied by Christ is to deny Him.

One is never too lost to be saved, one's life can always turn around. No matter if you think you have faith or if you know you don't; you can, I can, be saved. Christ died for the ungodly. I know that I am worthy of nothing; however, God puts a worth on us all. He will heal the wounds that we think will never leave; He will fill the void.

----------------------------------------------------

"Tourniquet" - Evanescence

I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
so much more
I lay dying
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved


my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

I want to die!!!

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will I be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide

More Than a Sparrow

29 Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father. 30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows. ( Matthew 10: 29-31)

Since I can remember, this passage of scripture has touched me. Yet I always seem to forget its lesson. We find that our worth is what others say we are. I feel like I'm only worth what I can do for others. However, God knows everything about us, even down to how many hairs we have; yet He still loves us. If the sparrows that fly cannot fall without God's consent or knowledge, and we are worth more than many sparrows, then we shall never fall without His knowledge. Moreover, we cannot fall unless we consent to falling. Because of this, we cannot judge our self-worth, or even plain worth, based on others beliefs about us. We cannot keep feeling less than because of our past or our worries for the future. We must know that God knows EVERYTHING about us and He still loves us.  We are worth more to God than His other creations, that is why we are "Very Good" while the rest of creation is "good". Still, we only care what others think, not what God thinks. I only care what others think, I need to focus more on what He thinks of me. 

If we, Christians, stopped worrying about what others thought of us and only worried about what God thought of us, we would be better Christians. More non-Christians would follow based on our footsteps. We would have less dysfunction, we wouldn't worry or dwell on the past. We have worth; we are worth more than anything else to the God of all Creation. If that's the case, even the person who seems worthless has a worth. Never let anyone take away your self worth! When you feel worthless, you are out of focus and not working in the plan that God has for you. God will catch you when you're falling. Maybe not when you want Him to, but He will in His time.

 ----------------------------------------

As a side note, the new background is actually the picture below, you just cannot see the bottom of it.

Clingman's Dome - Great Smokey Mountains

Lesson 35 - The Past and Dysfunction

Our past is who we say we are. We say that if you don't know my past you don't know who I am. I say that... 

In every life, there is a past. In every past there is dysfunction, hurt, pain, turmoil,  and regret. I have that past. There was good times and bad times; wrong and right decisions. Nevertheless, I stand here today, constantly reminded of that past. I constantly blame my current actions on my past. I constantly bring up the wrongs done, the pain felt, the regrets I have. My past was both good and bad, but I wouldn't change it for the world. It has made me who I am, though I'm not so sure that it made the greatest person. My past does not define me, my current actions do. If I let the past creep into my life on a continuum, then I'm defined by that which I was. I don't want to be defined by what I was. I want to grow out of those things, even when I'm reminded of those things.

Things have happened in my life for a reason. Things will continue to happen for a reason. Things will play out the way that they should, no matter if I continue to grasp my nonexistent control over my life. Who am I to say what I want? I don't know what I want, I know what I can rationally think that I want. As Mark Twain said, "Its what we know for sure that just ain't so." I can know for sure that I think I want this, this, and that; do I really? How many times have you had a list of things that you wanted to see in another person, saw those things and thought that it won't work? How many times have you said "this could never work" and it does. How many times have you said "I will NEVER do that" and you do it? I don't know what I want, I just know what I think I want. I know that I can interpret my past in a million ways. I can psychoanalysis it until it boils down to nothing. I can also learn to live in the moment; to live chasing after God. To not lay in bed as night wishing I had done this or that differently.

To get out of the dysfunction that is in our lives, we must chase after God. To get rid of my past, I must chase after God. Because I still cling to the past, I am not focusing on God. This is why there is still confusion, turmoil, and double-mindedness in my life. When I focus on God, running full speed ahead, this is when my worries, fears, and dysfunction will leave my life.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

With that said, I will direct you to the video below. This is the church that I will be attending when I move to Tennessee. Feel free to listen, feel free to be freed.

No Fun in Joe's Dysfunction from OneLife Church on Vimeo.

onelifeknox.com

Lesson 34 - Double Minded

In life we all make decisions. In life we are all given tests. In life we can decide if we learn from our tests. 

Double-minded - to be indecisive; uncertainty

James 1:8 - A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. 

James 4:8 - Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 

nigh- to draw closer; near in place, time, or relationship. 

Ways That We Can Be Double Minded In Relation To God:

1. Praying with doubt
2. Hearing without doing
3. Biased Fellowship
4. Selective Obedience
5. To acknowledge God with your lips, but deny Him with your actions 
6. Not being sincere
7. Asking for one thing, but meaning another
8. Hypocrisy
9. Restless in one's thoughts
10. Confusion in one's mind

I can tell you right now that I'm very double minded. I have known this for a very long time, but I didn't realize that there was a verse in the Bible about it directly; I did know it was inferred in many verses though. It is easy to refute that which we don't want to do. When I "know" what I want to do and ask for advise, I'm just wasting others breath. I can't tell you how many times that I'm double minded in a day; I can't tell you how many times I was such today! I'm confused as to what to do, but I know what I want to do. I want to do something, but I don't know how to do it, so I'll wait it out. I say "Blah, Blah, Blah" then I say "No I really mean Bleh, Bleh, Bleh" but I really mean "Blah, Blah, Blah." When I notice that things are hurting another, I change my words to make them hurt less. I change what my actual view is, in words, to make a justification about why I am saying something and how I said it wrong. Its a flat out lie!!!! I meant what I said when I said it! Even if it was rash, rude, or out of anger it is how I felt. I choose when it is convenient to be up front and honest with how I'm saying something. I choose when it is convenient to honestly follow God. I recognize that I'm better about this than I was, but it still happens. I know what I have written in the 30 lessons, but I catch myself doing them only when it is convenient for me to do it.

A lesson is presented to someone. If they take the wrong road, they will "learn a lesson." Thing is, that "lesson" will come back again. It will continue to come back until you make the right choice, then it will come back again to see if you really get it. If you make the right choice the first time, it will come back to make sure it wasn't just a "lucky guess." I have a lesson before me. I've lived this lesson many times. I always, always mess it up. After it happens, I always say "well I should have seen that one coming." I see the dangers; I know them well. I still choose the wrong path; God always gets me out. 

I wasn't going to do a lesson tonight, I just felt led to open the Bible and flip through James; I did. I found the above passages. This was a big problem for me today; God knows this. He put this on my heart so that I could really understand what I'm doing; so that I could stop the cycle. I want to stop this never ending cycle. 

As Yoda says, "Try not, do or do not; there is no try." I will either do it, or not. I will either get it right, or I won't. My mind, as a child, was black and white; now its gray. I see the right and the wrong in everything. I will stop this "gray" and get back to white. Pray for me, I need it. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"The Alter And The Door" - Casting Crowns

Careless, I am reckless

I'm a wrong-way-travelin'-slowly-unraveling shell of a man

Burnt out, I'm so numb now

That the fire's just an ember way down in the corner of my cold, cold heart

(Pre-Chorus)

Lord, this time I'll make it right, here at the altar I lay my life

Your kingdom come but my will was done, my heart is broken as I...

(Chorus)

Cry, like so many times before

But my eyes are dry before I leave the floor, oh Lord

I try but this time, Jesus, how can I be sure I will not lose my follow through

Between the altar and the door

Here at the altar, oh my world so black and white

How could I ever falter

What You've shown me to be right

(Pre-Chorus)

(Chorus)

I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard

Just let You be who You are

Lord, who You are in me

Jesus, I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard

Just let You be who You are

Lord, who You are in me

Oh Lord, I

(Chorus)

------------------------------------------------------------

"Somewhere In The Middle" - Casting Crowns

Somewhere between the hot and the cold

Somewhere between the new and the old

Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be

Somewhere in the middle you'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right

Somewhere between the darkness and the light

Somewhere between who I was and who you're making me

Somewhere in the middle you'll find me

Just how close can I get Lord to my surrender

Without losing all control

Fearless warriors in the picket fence

Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense

Deep water faith in the shallow end

We are caught in the middle

With eyes wide open to the differences

The God we want and the God who is

But will we trade our dreams for his

Or are we caught in the middle

Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands

Somewhere between my faith and my plans

Somewhere between the safety of the boat on the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar

Somewhere between the altar and the door

Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more

Somewhere in the middle you'll find me

Just how close can I get Lord to my surrender

Without losing all control

Fearless warriors in the picket fence

Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense

Deep water faith in the shallow end

We are caught in the middle

With eyes wide open to the differences

The God we want and the God who is

But will we trade our dreams for his

Or are we caught in the middle

Fearless warriors in the picket fence

Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense

Deep water faith in the shallow end

We are caught in the middle

Lord I feel you in this place

And I know you're by my side

Loving me all even on these nights

When I'm caught in the middle

Caught in the middle

Foundation

What is my foundation? In which kingdom do I live? With whom do I find peace?

I know that as I go through life, changes will be made. I understand that I will change from day-to-day. I see the changes that are going on in my life, and I feel the changes taking place. While changes are being made, something has to remain constant; remain a foundation; remain a cornerstone. Today at church, I thought that while I'm changing for the better, am I making those changes my foundation? Have I completely and utterly destroyed who I was to become a better me? I know that God has given my the ability to destroy who I was, He is making things happen that I didn't feel like I had strength to do alone. I understand what it takes to destroy yourself and become a new. Am I implementing it is the question. To know something, to understand something, doesn't mean that you are implementing it. So how do I implement the changes that I see into being my foundation?

God will destroy every room in my "house", He will take out the concrete floor of my basement and pour one anew. This new foundation should be completely different than what I was, completely! I was distrusting, manipulative, controlling, judgmental, and a hypocrite. I should be trusting, accepting, upfront, honest, and give up control to God. I should forever and always put God first. I should go before Him in a path that He has laid out in front of me. He doesn't hide the path that He wants you to go on, so why do we always search for it? It's right there in front of me!!! I must change my actions to reflect a new foundation. A foundation who's cornerstone is God; a foundation built around God. Until I gain that critical foundation, I will not understand the lessons that He has set in front of my eyes. He is changing me, I just need to accept that as my foundation instead of running away from that which scares me. Instead of running, instead of giving in, I need to stand firm.

"O! for a muse of fire, that would ascend the brightest heaven of invention." - William Shakespeare

1 The LORD reigns, let the earth rejoice; let the many coastlands be glad! 2 Clouds and thick darkness are all around him; righteousness and justice are the foundation of his throne. 3 Fire goes before him and burns up his adversaries all around. 4 His lightnings light up the world; the earth sees and trembles. 5 The mountains melt like wax before the LORD, before the Lord of all the earth. 6 The heavens proclaim his righteousness, and all the peoples see his glory. 7 All worshipers of images are put to shame, who make their boast in worthless idols; worship him, all you gods! 8 Zion hears and is glad, and the daughters of Judah rejoice, because of your judgments, O LORD. 9 For you, O LORD, are most high over all the earth; you are exalted far above all gods. 10 O you who love the LORD, hate evil! He preserves the lives of his saints; he delivers them from the hand of the wicked. 11 Light is sown for the righteous, and joy for the upright in heart. 12 Rejoice in the LORD, O you righteous, and give thanks to his holy name! (Psalm 97)

To read this scripture this morning gave me great pleasure, not so say that the other don't of course. The parts emboldened are all about nature, something that my generation lacks knowledge of. We already know that He can calm the waves in stormy weather, or make the waves rough in His anger. However, I never really thought of anything else but a rainbow, rain and wind in relation to Him. 

His lightening lights up the world: He gives us light in the darkest of times. We have the moon, the sun, and the lightening when the moon and sun aren't visible because of clouds. I always thought that lightening was awe inspiring, but I never thought of it as a symbol much like the sun and moon: a light giver. 

The earth sees and trembles: I guess we can call the earthquakes in every region "the earth seeing God". That is pretty cool to think about! Everything happens for a reason; God doesn't let people suffer for no reason. There is a reason that things are happening in the world as they are today, they are happening to lead us to either redemption or damnation. God will protect those that belong to Him! I wouldn't wish the disaster of the world on anyone, ever; yet, I realize that things occur in their due time. 

Still, when the earth sees God, it trembles; when the leaves are bashed about by the wind, they are praising God. When the people of the world don't praise Him, the earth will. Maybe this is another reason for earthquakes... Just sayin'. 

Mountains Melt like Wax: Obviously a volcano, but the words used give me a different view of a volcano. Instead of thinking "yup, magma is coming up and becoming lava on the surface of the earth" I can think of a candle, I like this thought. 

Fire goes before Him: Fire, one thing that is never satisfied. Fire can destroy, heal, melt, harden, cook, clean, sterilize, infect, chaotic, controlled. Fire is a paradox, fire is how God showed Himself on Mt. Zion and what we should have for Him: a fiery passion. Fire is a great asset and a horrible demise. Fire is awesome and He controls it. Think about that, God controls the chaos and the paradoxes of life just as He controls the fire... 

Today and Tomorrow

"13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 15 Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you." (Philippians 3:13-15)

 “I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.” - William Allen White

God will lead me on whatever path that He shows is best for me. When I feel like my path has hit a road block, when I feel like life can't go anywhere from here, when I don't know where to go from here, God knows. He will show me through every test, every hardship, and every blessing where my life will go from here. I may always be one day, month, or year behind when it comes to knowing what should happen, but He will reveal it to me. To life in the moment and for God is the best way to live. Forgetting what has been behind me, I can focus on God as opposed to the mistakes in my past. Straining toward a future in a relationship with Him will give me a clear objective, purpose, and path. He is forever present, He is with me always. To give it all up to Him is something that will take me learning to not compete (something that this world is full of). I'm not sure how to not be competitive. I have always been so, as I have said before. The only time that I can say that I didn't compete is when I was in preschool and kindergarten when understanding of the word no, sharing, and love came to me like there was no other way to be. I used to be the kid that would say "ok mommy, I know we can't afford that" and drop the subject. I used to be the kid that would offer my things to others, I used to be the kid that would love someone without a second thought for their kindness. When Jesus said we should be like little children to get into heaven, I understand what He meant. When I was a child, I was everything that He wanted me to be. As I grew up in this world, I saw that this wouldn't get me very far. Everyone around me found that this was not longer how we should act, so I changed into what the world wanted. How do you become like a little child and regain that innocence? How do you share when you know that you won't get it back? How do you become that in a world where you would be stepped on, treated like a doormat, and used? If everyone doesn't act like that, it would only kill you to be that way. Is that our cross to bear - to have the innocence of a child knowing that our worldly lives will be ruined because of it? Or is it rather to stand tall in our faith, to show the world that we understand that they lie, cheat, steal, but that it isn't ok? I am just one person, I can not change everything that is wrong in this world. But the body of Christ, the followers of Christ, are many - we can change the world. 

Day 30 - The Final "Live and Learn"

Instead of going through every single lesson for the last "Live and Learn," I have decided that I am going to say what has really changed and what still needs work. Life within the past 30 days has changed; the life that I live has changed. The most prominent way that my life has changed is that I have grown closer to God. If nothing else has come from this journey, I can say that. However, much more has come from this journey. I am gaining more patience with my parents; I am able to not jump ignorantly into assumptions; I talk more about my faith than I did; I take my time and see the world for the beautiful place that it is; I truly see that difference in myself. I find that when I am happy or sad I praise God. I found that I have really never felt love as it was made to be; yet, I also found what love really is. I found that happiness is something that you will gain when you can be free from the guilt that we cause ourselves. We will be even happier when we are open, honest, forgiving, and humble before the people that we love. I've learned that I haven't put as much faith in the goodness of God as I thought I did. I seek the control that I don't have over my life. I found that competition has ruled me; and that I haven't really loved at all. I learned the true conduct of a Christian is not what I have seen in the churches that I have attended throughout my life. I learned that just because you abide by the laws of man, it does not mean that you are right in the laws of God. I learned that I have been living for my "dot" not the line of eternity. I have learned that I have also been among the hypocrites that I so resented. I finally figured out what can really lead to true love, and what it is.

Courage          ->     Honesty 

                             ↓                ↕

Forgiveness -> Freedom -> Love

On the other hand, I still need to work on my prayer life with God. I still need to work on justifying anything unless I'm writing a paper for school. I still have to give up control to Him; I still have to fully let it all go. I still need to work on my flight response, yet recognize that there is a third option (let it pass and trust in God). I still need to work on loving everyone for who they are, not what they do.

While the 30 day journey is complete, the destination is not yet reached. I will continue with the blog as it has been; however, I may not always put a "lesson #" in the title. It may be a poem, it may be nothing but quotes, it may be just thoughts about the world, it could be anything. But the journey that is the lessons of life will still be posted, just with other stuff too. I will still try to update daily as it is now a habit. Reading the Bible is now a habit!!!!

• Today! - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29: 11)
• "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40: 31)
• "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." (John 15: 13)
• "What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8: 31)
• "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8: 38-39)
• "9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:9-13)
• "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." (Deuteronomy 31:6)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"If I Had Never" - Donna Keevers Driver

If I had never seen darkness
would I have recognized the Light?
If I had never been wronged
would I have known what is right?

If I had never been lost
would I have been happy to be found?
If I had never been in the pit
would I appreciate Holy Ground?

If I had never been broken
would I have recognised love?
If I had never been knocked down
would I have ever looked up?

If I had never made mistakes
would I have learned to do what’s right?
If I had never longed for death
would I appreciate my life?

If I had never been bruised by religion
would I have appreciated grace?
If I had never been betrayed by man
Lord, would I have sought Your face?

If I had never been brought to my knees
through sin that is my own
Would I appreciate the love
that Jesus has shown?

And, Father, if I had been protected
from all that sin and man can do,
would I have ever known the beauty and love
that is found solely in You…?

Donna Keevers Driver

Nov 2007

Lesson 29 - Forgive and Forget

Forgive is said in 48 verses of the King James Bible; forgiven is said in 48 verses of the King James Bible; forgiveness is said in 7 verses of the King James Bible; forgave is said in 7 verses of the King James Bible. This is not the number of times it is said, just how many verses contain them. With forgiveness of sins being a HUGE part of what Jesus did for us on the cross, I felt like this would be a great beginning and a great end. To end with the remembrance of what Jesus did for us; for what He didn't have to do for us, but did.  Each time we sin, if we ask, we are forgiven. However, I feel that, even if someone doesn't ask us for forgiveness, it should come with our Christian spirit to do so. To forgive others of the wrongs they have done to us means that God will also forgive them; "To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also." So, forgiveness is something that we should always practice, if only so that we may be forgiven in the presence of God.

Forget is in 51 verses in the King Jame Bible; forgot is in 1.  There are two main themes when forget is said in the Bible; to forget the bad in life and to NOT forget God and his laws/ deeds. Only once does it talk about forgetting a wrong done (Genesis 27:45). However, in "deeper in love" I shared with you 16 things that love is; it says to "not keep score". If this is the case, we should forget that which has been wronged unto us. While forgetting isn't strongly stated in the Bible, it is implied within Love and that is the most important thing. The only way to regain trust in someone is to forgive them, and to forget what they did. To not bring it back up every time something goes wrong. This is something that most relationships lack; even mine. We tend to want to have more reasons to fight so we bring back up the wrongs from the past to make a "stronger" argument to get our point across. This isn't love;it is competition. I've always competed in my life for more attention, the last word, to be better than others, to have the upper hand, to help more people, to have a better name, to have a better _____ (fill in blank). Competition is all I've really lived, but that isn't love. Love is striping yourself of the competition and focusing on the other person while putting God first. To answer the lyrics to "Where is the Love" by Black Eyed Peas, love is hidden in competition that America finds more important than others. America wants to be better than everyone else, not to love everyone else. 

 -------------------------------------------------------------------

Forgive/ Forgiveness/ Forgave/ Forgiven

• Look upon mine affliction and my pain; and forgive all my sins.(Psalms 25:18)
• 12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen. 14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.(Matthew 6:12-15)
• 15 Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. 16 But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established . 17 And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. 18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask , it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. 21 Then came Peter to him, and said , Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? 22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.  (Matthew 18: 15-22)
• And when ye stand praying , forgive , if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.(Mark 11:25)
• Judge not, and ye shall not be judged : condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned : forgive , and ye shall be forgiven : (Luke 6: 37) 
• Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do . And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.  (Luke 23: 34)
• To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; (2 Corinthians 2:10)
• Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven--for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." (Luke 7:47)
• In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace; (Ephesians 1:7)
• And the prayer of faith shall save the sick , and the Lord shall raise him up ; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him. (James 5:15)
• Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion , and loosed him, and forgave him the debt. (Matthew 18:27)

 ------------------------------------------------------------

Forget/ Forgot

• Until thy brother's anger turn away from thee, and he forget that which thou hast done to him: then I will send , and fetch thee from thence: why should I be deprived also of you both in one day? (Genesis 27:45)
• And it shall be, if thou do at all forget the LORD thy God, and walk after other gods, and serve them, and worship them, I testify against you this day that ye shall surely perish . (Deuteronomy 8:19)
• Because thou shalt forget thy misery, and remember it as waters that pass away : (Job 11:16)
• Let him drink [when dying] , and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more. (Proverbs 31:7)

--------------------------------------------------------

"Where is the Love?" - Black Eyed Peas

What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA fightin'
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Madness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how anger works and operates
Man, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love

It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love, the love, the love?

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our wrong direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids wanna act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive till love is found
Now ask yourself

Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?
Where is the love?

Father, Father, Father help us
Send some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love?

Sing wit me y'all:
One world, one world (We only got)
One world, one world (That's all we got)
One world, one world
And something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit it (Yeah)
Something's wrong wit the wo-wo-world, yeah
We only got
(One world, one world)
That's all we got
(One world, one world)

Lesson 28 - Happiness and Love

Since my 30 day lessons are coming to an end, I would like to end where I started. The second lesson was "Happiness and Love" and the first was "Forgive and Forget". Because there is three day's left and the last day is "Live and Learn", I will start at lesson two. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Within the second lesson, I came to the following conclusion: Courage -> Honesty -> Forgiveness -> Freedom -> Love. In lessons 5 and 6, I went deeper into the thought of love; however, I failed to focus on happiness. I concluded that when one has courage they can not fear being honest. Honesty will, in most cases, enable those who you hurt to forgive you or for you to forgive those who were honest with you. Forgiveness will bring you freedom and freedom will enable you to love those who do not place chains around you. While in the same lesson I said that freedom is the key to happiness; thus, by that logic, you are happy before you love or, at least, while you love. Is this the case though? Those that have courage to be honest normally are and they seem to be the people who don't have chains placed on them. God is the only one who can forgive sins. We can just forgive others for the pain they caused us. Their forgiveness relinquishes our guilt which will make us freer. But the chains would still be there if we don't forgive ourselves for that action and act for forgiveness from God. Then, and only then, are we free from that sin. Still, is my sequence of "events" the real sequence in life?

For some reason, I think it goes more like this:

Courage          ->     Honesty 

                             ↓                ↕

Forgiveness -> Freedom -> Love

Courage can lead to forgiveness, but those who don't have courage can also forgive. Courage will lead to honesty, but honesty doesn't necessarily mean that you are forgiven. You are only forgiven if the one you hindered forgives you and if you ask for Gods forgiveness. Freedom, however, does lead to love just as honesty can lead to love. This is more of what my thought process should have been.

I have the courage to be honest, I forgive those that trespass against me. I know that when there is a wrong done to me, God will avenge me and I don't need to get revenge myself. I know that honesty can be the best way to never feel guilt (thus freedom from that), but it does mean that you will be hated (by those that can't handle the truth). Still we are called to love, feed, and give drink to our enemies and show them love. So the freedom that we have by knowing that God is on our side and that he will avenge us can let us love and do what He commanded us to do. "Love thy neighbor as thyself." While this may seem to be a jumbled mess, there is order in all chaos. That is what the chart is for! Still, there is more to freedom, love, and happiness then meets the eye. 

“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be” -Marcel Pagnol

Happiness can come if we live in the present moment. at the present moment there is nothing wrong. Even as you read this moments are flying by so very quickly. A moment isn't a minute, a second, but rather a fraction of a millisecond. If that is the case, as we are called to live in the here and now, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong in t.t.t.t.t.t.t.... that moment (the moments pass to quickly to type "that" within them). Even if a minute is going by and that minute or hour seems like the worst hour in your life, there is nothing wrong in a moment. If we are happy at any given moment, and we focus on the here and now, then we should be free of all the worry and stress that we place upon ourselves for the future for "we do not know what the future may bring forth". We don't know if I will be dead a moment from now or not. Even if I did, I would see God's face, there is NOTHING wrong with that. If we live in this moment, what isn't to love about it? If we live in the here an now, what aren't we free from? This is easier said than done obviously, but it is possible for "all things are possible through Christ." Because it is possible to live only for the moment and to live the moment to glorify God, we should always have happiness, love, and freedom on our hearts.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Cowboy Take Me Away" - Dixie Chicks

I said, "I wanna touch the earth
I wanna break it in my hands
I wanna grow something
Wild and unruly"

I wanna sleep on the hard ground
In the comfort of your arms
On a pillow of blue bonnets
In a blanket made of stars

Oh it sounds good to me

I say, "Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue"
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to Heaven above and
Closer to you, closer to you

I wanna walk and not run
I wanna skip and not fall
I wanna look at the horizon
And not see a building standing tall

I wanna be the only one
For miles and miles
Except for maybe you
And your simple smile

Oh it sounds good to me
Yes it sounds so good to me

Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to Heaven above and
Closer to you, closer to you

I said, "I wanna touch the earth
I wanna break it in my hands
I wanna grow something
Wild and unruly"

Oh it sounds so good to me

Cowboy take me away
Fly this girl as high as you can
Into the wild blue
Set me free oh I pray
Closer to Heaven above and
Closer to you, closer to you

Closer to you
Cowboy take me away
Closer to you

Lesson 27 - Comfort

Comfort is said in more than 62 verses in the King James Version Bible. I know that I seek comfort, security, monotony even. If gives the feeling of the old comfortable shoe that you don't want to get ride of, or the blanket that you don't want to get ride of from your childhood. Even if you know that that shoe or that blanket can't keep you safe, it is something that you feel you need to relax and to wipe away the "unknown" in life. Jesus says many times to "be of good comfort" right before He says something about faith. In many ways, Jesus never promised security, safety, or comfort; yet He is saying to be of good comfort and and go in faith. He brings comfort to those in distress. We are to comfort others as He comforts us. So, He does comfort us and we should comfort others. He comforts us in our chaos. So why do we get stressed? If we are comforted, should we always be worried? I know that I worry a lot about things that don't matter. I get stressed about school, work, homework, moving, life, friends, family, etc. Family becomes stressed when things are brought up, acted on, or arguments occur. Why are we not comforted then? Are we stressed and living in chaos because we are of little faith. The more faith you have in Him, the less stressed you will be as you know that He will take care of you. He will provide for you if you also take the initiative to make it happen. So when we are stressed or worried, it is because we have little faith in the goodness of God. I should feel comfort and relaxed when I feel worried as stressed. Thus, in order to feel the goodness of God and the comfort that He can bestow on us, we must believe in the goodness and comfort that He will bring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed; Always bearing about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life also of Jesus might be made manifest in our body.(2 Corinthians 4: 8-10)
• This is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me. (Psalms 119: 50)
• Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.( 2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
• Finally, brethren, farewell . Be perfect , be of good comfort , be of one mind , live in peace ; and the God of love and peace shall be with you.  (2 Corinthians 13:11)
• Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.  (Psalms 23:4)
• Now we exhort you, brethren, warn those who are unruly, comfort the fainthearted, uphold the weak, be patient with all. (1 Thessalonians 5:14)
• comfort your hearts and establish you in every good word and work. (2 Thessalonians 2:17)
• And Jesus stood still, and commanded him to be called . And they call the blind man, saying unto him, Be of good comfort, rise; he calleth thee.  (Mark 10: 49)
• And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort : thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.(Luke 8:48)

http://www.biblestudytools.com/search/?q=comfort&t=nkjv&s=Bibles&ps=10&p=2

Lesson 26 - Romans

Today, I read the entire book of Romans. Last night, I found many passages throughout the text that lead back to something in Romans. Romans is a book of the Bible that was written by Paul and discusses a lot of topics like: faith and works, law and grace, sin and righteousness, and judgment and justification. While reading this book, I found a lot of things very interesting. The following are some of the verses that caught my eyes and spoke to me:

• 1 You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. (Romans 2:1, NIV)
• 21 you, then, who teach others, do you not teach yourself ? You who preach against stealing, do you steal? 22 You who say that people should not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? 23 You who brag about the law, do you dishonor God by breaking the law? (2: 21-23)
• 20 Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin. (3:20)
• 15 because law brings wrath. And where there is no law there is no transgression. (4:15)
• 3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. (5: 3-6) 
• 12 Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned-- 13 for before the law was given, sin was in the world. But sin is not taken into account when there is no law. (5: 12-13)
• 20 The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more, 21 so that, just as sin reigned in death, so also grace might reign through righteousness to bring eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. (5: 20-21)
• 14 For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace. (6: 14)
• 7 What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet."  9 Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. (7: 7&9)
• 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.  (7: 15-17)
• 22 For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23 but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. (7: 22-25)  
• 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. 26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. (8: 25-26)
• 9 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved (10:9)
• 14 How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?  (10: 14)
• Chapter 12-13: Christian Conduct

When reading Romans, I realized a couple of things. First, if the laws of the world, not the laws of God, were not put out there for all to see, one might not think of doing something that was, by the worlds view, wrong. We are not to live by the laws of the world because then we are good only by the thing that defines us: the laws of the world. If we, however, live by the laws of God, as Jesus did, then we are living by the rules of the spirit. Jesus was crucified "unclean" by the laws of the world. He did not abide by the laws of man, but rather knew the laws of the spirit and lived through and by those laws. While I understood that Jesus was a "rebel" by the world's law, I really didn't respond to this as I should break the law if it it goes against the law of the spirit. Kind of like what we are talking about in my Business Ethics class; if you felt something was wrong would you go against the norm of society to do what you felt was right? Second, there are two parts to "human nature". First you have the evil side and then the image bearer of God side. Because there was sin, we have "all sinned, come short of the glory of God" (Romans 3: 23). So if there is two laws at work within me, how can you stop the side that is "evil"? Third, patience is something that I don't have (when it comes to certain things). I'm not patient with slow drivers, people who should understand what is going on, and those that are blissfully ignorant. I have patience with computers, senior citizens, and children. Finally, chapter 12 and 13 gave a true picture of how the Christian should act, and how most of us don't. I would encourage you to really study the following chapters of Romans. I know that it showed me that I've been doing things wrong. 

Chapter 12

Living Sacrifices

1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God--this is your spiritual act of worship. 2 Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will. 3 For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. 4 Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, 5 so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 6 We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. 7 If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; 8 if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.

Love

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, faithful in prayer. patient in affliction, 13 Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Chapter 13

Submission to the Authorities

1 Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and he will commend you. 4 For he is God's servant to do you good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword for nothing. He is God's servant, an agent of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience. 6 This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, who give their full time to governing. 7 Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

Love, for the Day Is Near

8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. 9 The commandments, "Do not commit adultery," "Do not murder," "Do not steal," "Do not covet," and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 10 Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law. 11 And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. 12 The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. 13 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. 14 Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.

Do you do what is considered "Christian Conduct", or do you do what you think you should do?  

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.” -   Mahatma Gandhi

“Of all religions, Christianity is without a doubt the one that should inspire tolerance most, although, up to now, the Christians have been the most intolerant of all men” - Voltaire

 “Going to church does not make you a Christian anymore than going to the garage makes you a car.”

 -Dr. Laurence J. Peter

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them." - Stanley Lindquist

“We turn to God for help when our foundations are shaking, only to learn that it is God who is shaking them.”  - Charles C. West