In life we all make decisions. In life we are all given tests. In life we can decide if we learn from our tests.
Double-minded - to be indecisive; uncertainty
James 1:8 - A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
James 4:8 - Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.
nigh- to draw closer; near in place, time, or relationship.
Ways That We Can Be Double Minded In Relation To God:
- Praying with doubt
- Hearing without doing
- Biased Fellowship
- Selective Obedience
- To acknowledge God with your lips, but deny Him with your actions
- Not being sincere
- Asking for one thing, but meaning another
- Hypocrisy
- Restless in one's thoughts
- Confusion in one's mind
I can tell you right now that I'm very double minded. I have known this for a very long time, but I didn't realize that there was a verse in the Bible about it directly; I did know it was inferred in many verses though. It is easy to refute that which we don't want to do. When I "know" what I want to do and ask for advise, I'm just wasting others breath. I can't tell you how many times that I'm double minded in a day; I can't tell you how many times I was such today! I'm confused as to what to do, but I know what I want to do. I want to do something, but I don't know how to do it, so I'll wait it out. I say "Blah, Blah, Blah" then I say "No I really mean Bleh, Bleh, Bleh" but I really mean "Blah, Blah, Blah." When I notice that things are hurting another, I change my words to make them hurt less. I change what my actual view is, in words, to make a justification about why I am saying something and how I said it wrong. Its a flat out lie!!!! I meant what I said when I said it! Even if it was rash, rude, or out of anger it is how I felt. I choose when it is convenient to be up front and honest with how I'm saying something. I choose when it is convenient to honestly follow God. I recognize that I'm better about this than I was, but it still happens. I know what I have written in the 30 lessons, but I catch myself doing them only when it is convenient for me to do it.
A lesson is presented to someone. If they take the wrong road, they will "learn a lesson." Thing is, that "lesson" will come back again. It will continue to come back until you make the right choice, then it will come back again to see if you really get it. If you make the right choice the first time, it will come back to make sure it wasn't just a "lucky guess." I have a lesson before me. I've lived this lesson many times. I always, always mess it up. After it happens, I always say "well I should have seen that one coming." I see the dangers; I know them well. I still choose the wrong path; God always gets me out.
I wasn't going to do a lesson tonight, I just felt led to open the Bible and flip through James; I did. I found the above passages. This was a big problem for me today; God knows this. He put this on my heart so that I could really understand what I'm doing; so that I could stop the cycle. I want to stop this never ending cycle.
As Yoda says, "Try not, do or do not; there is no try." I will either do it, or not. I will either get it right, or I won't. My mind, as a child, was black and white; now its gray. I see the right and the wrong in everything. I will stop this "gray" and get back to white. Pray for me, I need it.
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"The Alter And The Door" - Casting Crowns
Careless, I am reckless
I'm a wrong-way-travelin'-slowly-unraveling shell of a man
Burnt out, I'm so numb now
That the fire's just an ember way down in the corner of my cold, cold heart
(Pre-Chorus)
Lord, this time I'll make it right, here at the altar I lay my life
Your kingdom come but my will was done, my heart is broken as I...
(Chorus)
Cry, like so many times before
But my eyes are dry before I leave the floor, oh Lord
I try but this time, Jesus, how can I be sure I will not lose my follow through
Between the altar and the door
Here at the altar, oh my world so black and white
How could I ever falter
What You've shown me to be right
(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)
I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard
Just let You be who You are
Lord, who You are in me
Jesus, I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard
Just let You be who You are
Lord, who You are in me
Oh Lord, I
(Chorus)
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