Sunday, March 27, 2011

Lesson 34 - Double Minded

In life we all make decisions. In life we are all given tests. In life we can decide if we learn from our tests. 

Double-minded - to be indecisive; uncertainty

James 1:8 - A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. 
James 4:8 - Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. 
nigh- to draw closer; near in place, time, or relationship. 

Ways That We Can Be Double Minded In Relation To God:
  1. Praying with doubt
  2. Hearing without doing
  3. Biased Fellowship
  4. Selective Obedience
  5. To acknowledge God with your lips, but deny Him with your actions 
  6. Not being sincere
  7. Asking for one thing, but meaning another
  8. Hypocrisy
  9. Restless in one's thoughts
  10. Confusion in one's mind
I can tell you right now that I'm very double minded. I have known this for a very long time, but I didn't realize that there was a verse in the Bible about it directly; I did know it was inferred in many verses though. It is easy to refute that which we don't want to do. When I "know" what I want to do and ask for advise, I'm just wasting others breath. I can't tell you how many times that I'm double minded in a day; I can't tell you how many times I was such today! I'm confused as to what to do, but I know what I want to do. I want to do something, but I don't know how to do it, so I'll wait it out. I say "Blah, Blah, Blah" then I say "No I really mean Bleh, Bleh, Bleh" but I really mean "Blah, Blah, Blah." When I notice that things are hurting another, I change my words to make them hurt less. I change what my actual view is, in words, to make a justification about why I am saying something and how I said it wrong. Its a flat out lie!!!! I meant what I said when I said it! Even if it was rash, rude, or out of anger it is how I felt. I choose when it is convenient to be up front and honest with how I'm saying something. I choose when it is convenient to honestly follow God. I recognize that I'm better about this than I was, but it still happens. I know what I have written in the 30 lessons, but I catch myself doing them only when it is convenient for me to do it.

A lesson is presented to someone. If they take the wrong road, they will "learn a lesson." Thing is, that "lesson" will come back again. It will continue to come back until you make the right choice, then it will come back again to see if you really get it. If you make the right choice the first time, it will come back to make sure it wasn't just a "lucky guess." I have a lesson before me. I've lived this lesson many times. I always, always mess it up. After it happens, I always say "well I should have seen that one coming." I see the dangers; I know them well. I still choose the wrong path; God always gets me out. 

I wasn't going to do a lesson tonight, I just felt led to open the Bible and flip through James; I did. I found the above passages. This was a big problem for me today; God knows this. He put this on my heart so that I could really understand what I'm doing; so that I could stop the cycle. I want to stop this never ending cycle. 

As Yoda says, "Try not, do or do not; there is no try." I will either do it, or not. I will either get it right, or I won't. My mind, as a child, was black and white; now its gray. I see the right and the wrong in everything. I will stop this "gray" and get back to white. Pray for me, I need it. 

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"The Alter And The Door" - Casting Crowns

Careless, I am reckless
I'm a wrong-way-travelin'-slowly-unraveling shell of a man
Burnt out, I'm so numb now
That the fire's just an ember way down in the corner of my cold, cold heart

(Pre-Chorus)
Lord, this time I'll make it right, here at the altar I lay my life
Your kingdom come but my will was done, my heart is broken as I...

(Chorus)
Cry, like so many times before
But my eyes are dry before I leave the floor, oh Lord
I try but this time, Jesus, how can I be sure I will not lose my follow through
Between the altar and the door

Here at the altar, oh my world so black and white
How could I ever falter
What You've shown me to be right

(Pre-Chorus)
(Chorus)

I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard
Just let You be who You are
Lord, who You are in me
Jesus, I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard
Just let You be who You are
Lord, who You are in me

Oh Lord, I

(Chorus)
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"Somewhere In The Middle" - Casting Crowns

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle you'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who you're making me
Somewhere in the middle you'll find me

Just how close can I get Lord to my surrender
Without losing all control

Fearless warriors in the picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
We are caught in the middle

With eyes wide open to the differences
The God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for his
Or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat on the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar

Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle you'll find me

Just how close can I get Lord to my surrender
Without losing all control

Fearless warriors in the picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
We are caught in the middle

With eyes wide open to the differences
The God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for his
Or are we caught in the middle

Fearless warriors in the picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
We are caught in the middle

Lord I feel you in this place
And I know you're by my side
Loving me all even on these nights

When I'm caught in the middle
Caught in the middle

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