Lesson 37 - Tourniquet

Definition of Tourniquet-

A device used to control bleeding, consisting of a constricting band applied tightly around a limb above the wound. It should only be used if the bleeding in life-threatening and can not be controlled by other means.

Psalm 69:29 - I am in pain and distress; may your salvation, O God, protect me.

2 Samuel 22:3 - My God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation. He is my stronghold, my refuge and my savior-- from violent men you save me.

Definition of SALVATION

1  a : deliverance from the power and effects of sin b : the agent or means that effects salvation c : Christian Science : the realization of the supremacy of infinite Mind over all bringing with it the destruction of the illusion of sin, sickness, and death

2 :  liberation from ignorance or illusion

3 a :  preservation from destruction or failure b : deliverance from danger or difficulty

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Many Christians today only use God as a tourniquet; they want Him to heal their wounds. In most cases they are in a life-threatening situation where they feel like they have nothing left; they use God as a last resort. When all else fails, believe, right? Wrong.

In the song "Tourniquet" by Evanescence (below), Amy Lee is calling back God as she was "lost for so long."  As I said in the previous post, even the hairs of your head have been counted. God does not stop loving you as a person, He just may not like how you are acting. He does not like when your relationship with Him crumbles.

When everything in life tells you that you have nothing left, God is there. God is/was there for me, He always will be. Many come to Him when they are in a "pickle" then run when they think they have it all figured out. I can remember the last time that I stepped into a church prior to 2009, I was around 8 or 9 years old. I thought that I could "study the Bible on my own and learn what I needed to." Well, I had no drive and no desire to read that long, long book called the Bible. I didn't want to open the pages as I thought I knew all the stories already from Bible school. I was very, very wrong. When I decided in 2009 to start attending church again, I found Paradox. Paradox was more than just a church to me, it was a learning environment, a place without judgment, a place where all were accepted. Nate, the pastor, brought aspect of the Bible to life that I had never dreamed of knowing. He began my thirst for knowledge; a friend of mine reignited a fire within me. During my time at Paradox, I participated for awhile, but then when others stopped going with me, I felt that I couldn't go either. This was the worst mistake of my life. I let others decide my life without them trying to. I wavered in my faith a lot. It wasn't until my friend reignited that fire within me that really got back into my faith. That friend showed me that I still had not cracked open the Bible for myself. I still wasn't strong in my faith. After Paradox closed as Nate moved to Texas, I began attending Apex. Apex is a great church that resembles Paradox. I started this blog, and I did what I said I would do at the age of 9, 11 years ago. I am finally opening the Bible, reading it for myself, and learning.

God, after 11 year, did not forget about me. He brought me closer to Him as He showed me what life without Him was like. Did I pray during those 11 years, yeah. Was it sincere, not as I know it to be now. I wavered in my faith for 11 years. I remained content in my comfortable life of depression and hatred. God was my tourniquet. I still feel the pain that life throws at me, God never promised the pain would go away here on earth, but He makes it bearable. Through a tourniquet, a person will still endure the pain, the agony, the hurt. However, the tourniquet keeps you alive as the life line that is your blood remains. God is that tourniquet when others waver, He will always be there when  you realize you wavered, fell to the way side, or stopped believing. He will not deny those who turn to Him. They only way to be denied by Christ is to deny Him.

One is never too lost to be saved, one's life can always turn around. No matter if you think you have faith or if you know you don't; you can, I can, be saved. Christ died for the ungodly. I know that I am worthy of nothing; however, God puts a worth on us all. He will heal the wounds that we think will never leave; He will fill the void.

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"Tourniquet" - Evanescence

I tried to kill the pain
but only brought more
so much more
I lay dying
and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved
am I too lost?

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

do you remember me
lost for so long
will you be on the other side
or will you forget me
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
am I too lost to be saved


my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

I want to die!!!

my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation
my God my tourniquet
return to me salvation

my wounds cry for the grave
my soul cries for deliverance
will I be denied Christ
tourniquet
my suicide