Lesson 35 - The Past and Dysfunction

Our past is who we say we are. We say that if you don't know my past you don't know who I am. I say that... 

In every life, there is a past. In every past there is dysfunction, hurt, pain, turmoil,  and regret. I have that past. There was good times and bad times; wrong and right decisions. Nevertheless, I stand here today, constantly reminded of that past. I constantly blame my current actions on my past. I constantly bring up the wrongs done, the pain felt, the regrets I have. My past was both good and bad, but I wouldn't change it for the world. It has made me who I am, though I'm not so sure that it made the greatest person. My past does not define me, my current actions do. If I let the past creep into my life on a continuum, then I'm defined by that which I was. I don't want to be defined by what I was. I want to grow out of those things, even when I'm reminded of those things.

Things have happened in my life for a reason. Things will continue to happen for a reason. Things will play out the way that they should, no matter if I continue to grasp my nonexistent control over my life. Who am I to say what I want? I don't know what I want, I know what I can rationally think that I want. As Mark Twain said, "Its what we know for sure that just ain't so." I can know for sure that I think I want this, this, and that; do I really? How many times have you had a list of things that you wanted to see in another person, saw those things and thought that it won't work? How many times have you said "this could never work" and it does. How many times have you said "I will NEVER do that" and you do it? I don't know what I want, I just know what I think I want. I know that I can interpret my past in a million ways. I can psychoanalysis it until it boils down to nothing. I can also learn to live in the moment; to live chasing after God. To not lay in bed as night wishing I had done this or that differently.

To get out of the dysfunction that is in our lives, we must chase after God. To get rid of my past, I must chase after God. Because I still cling to the past, I am not focusing on God. This is why there is still confusion, turmoil, and double-mindedness in my life. When I focus on God, running full speed ahead, this is when my worries, fears, and dysfunction will leave my life.

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With that said, I will direct you to the video below. This is the church that I will be attending when I move to Tennessee. Feel free to listen, feel free to be freed.

No Fun in Joe's Dysfunction from OneLife Church on Vimeo.

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