Lesson 19 - Run

 "You can't run away from trouble. There ain't no place that far." - Uncle Remus

        So many times in life I run. I run from the unfamiliar, guilt, displeasure, helplessness, hope, fear, family, friends, shame, blame, and God. I run because I feel that it's easier; I feel that it's quicker. To just run from that which I don't want is easier, in my opinion, then facing my problems and dealing with it. Many people tell you lies to your face until they can come up with something better. Others try to avoid sticky situations in general. Still, others try to find trouble and conflict. I can honestly say that I can be all of these things. I can try to cause conflict so that I can "fix" it and feel useful. I can try to avoid it so that I don't end up hurt or hurting someone else. I have lied so that I can postpone any consequences during a hard time that I don't want to deal with my problem. However, they always come back. They get stronger, angrier, less forgiving as time passes. Because you cannot run from your troubles, is it really "easier to run"? You can never run from your troubles, they will always be worse the second time around; thus, one should face their troubles as they come. No matter how hard the problem is, no matter how inopportune the timing is, no matter the consequences one should face their demons. When you face something, it can go away. If the unfamiliar remains that way, you will never know the opportunities that you pass by. If guilt or shame remain in you, you will never be in peace. If you always have displeasure, you will never be happy. If you are always hopeless, you will never have hope. If you run from God, He will search for you just as He searched for Adam in the Garden of Eden after Adam hide because of his nakedness (Genesis). Just as He found Jonah running from Him and made the seas treacherous for the men on the ship. They cast Jonah overboard and God took Jonah to where He wanted him (Jonah). No matter how far you run from your life, you will always have the problems you always had until you face them. Someone else cannot fix your problems for you; you must do it yourself. Take responsibility for that which you have done as I must do. I have always admitted my faults, I know I have many, but I still run.

       Some people might say that me moving to Tennessee after this semester at UD is me running from life. I would say that I have faced the demons that I have brought upon myself in Ohio. I am becoming who I was meant to be. There is a reason for everything in this life. I feel like Tennessee would be a great restart, but I don't feel like I'm running from anything. That used to be one reason why I wanted to go, but I have faced the demon that made me want to run. I am freer now then I have ever been. I had to learn a lesson, I have learned that lesson quite well. Going to a new school, a new state, a new job can give me a fresh start so that the preconceived notions that others have about me can be destroyed and I can be the person I want to be, the person I was meant to be, in Tennessee.

"Easier To Run" - Linkin Park

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler than change

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

It's easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
It's easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)